With the latest gift giving season still fresh in mind and the new season of resolutions underway, I’ve been thinking about how I give gifts to myself.
If you subscribe to Gary Chapman’s argument, gift-giving is one way to express love to another person. And we can express love and appreciation to ourselves by giving a gift to our future selves.
This gift might come in the form of an experience I want to have: concert tickets, a membership to a museum, lessons or a class, etc.
This might come in the form of an object that supports the life I want to live. If I want to reach for water instead of soda, I can purchase a refillable water bottle that looks and feels great to me. If I want to support myself in exercising outdoors, I can purchase sturdy hiking boots. I just need to keep in mind that owning the gear is not the same as doing the activity- for that I need to schedule and protect time.
Time, and it’s close companion, space, don’t fall neatly into the conception of gifts that Chapman describes. I can’t wrap up a free hour, or a clear mind, or an empty shelf with a bow. But those are the gifts I want to give myself most.
‘Someday’ means never—there will probably never be a point when I have more energy or more motivation than I have right now. I know my life will grow and change, but I can be certain that new responsibilities and interests will pop up for me as time goes on. I’ll appreciate entering those next phases of life less burdened by stuff and obligations that won’t serve me.
So I work very hard to do a solid for future me by decluttering an object (or an obligation, if possible) when I start to feel less than positive feelings towards it.
Future me is going to feel just as doubtful about the sweater that is a little too big for me.
Future me is going to feel just as annoyed about digging through a pile of unloved socks to find my favorite pair.
Future me is going to feel the same pang of guilt and inadequacy seeing that book I “should” read collecting dust.
I can let these objects go now, to clear out time and space for future me.
If “get organized” is your New Year’s Resolution, I invite you to reconsider. By all means, get organized. I’ll help! But don’t think of that as a resolution to be maintained over the course of the year, but rather as a gift you’re giving to yourself now. Then you can make more ambitious resolutions about your goals, not just about your stuff.