In my experience, clutter is caused by two things: inattention, or fear.

The inattention clutter is simple enough to remedy. We got preoccupied with other priorities, so we sit down with our calendars and find a weekend or two to invest in getting back on track.

The fear clutter is more demanding. Relief from decluttering is tempered by discomfort and fatigue from confronting fear.

Fear is a shapeshifter, but it almost always starts with “What if?”

What if we can’t get we need one day? What if we won’t have enough? What if we offend someone else? What if we lose our memories and connections? What if we’ve made mistakes? What if we’ve changed? What if we haven’t?

I only got through the “Eat” part of Eat Pray Love, but I’ve read and reread Big Magic in its entirety. Elizabeth Gilbert has fear figured out. Her suggestion, and my strategy for getting clients unstuck in times of paralysis is to stop asking “What if?” and start asking “What are you afraid of?”

Acknowledging that we’re afraid is often enough to both validate our feelings and activate the more optimistic, trusting, and braver parts of our brain that can compete with fear. Instead of saying “What if I’m aging?!” and spinning out, we can hear ourselves say aloud “I’m afraid that if I let go of this t-shirt from college, I’ll have to accept that I’m getting older.” Our rational brain can kindly say “Aww, that sounds tough.” while quietly adding that shirt to the donation pile to make room for the things our older, wiser selves actually want around.

Here’s my perennial fear statement: “I’m afraid that in letting go of these unread books/unfinished projects/formal business attire/ fancy recipe ingredients, I’m not going to reach my full potential.” I can voice that, and then swiftly remind myself that libraries and stores exist, and I don’t need a hoard of unmet aspirations in my home detracting from the things that real, here-and-now me is doing on the daily.

There, there scaredy-Megan.