There are so many benefits to having our homes in order, we can be motivated to create those benefits for other people. That’s why I started this business and blog.

But the same way we can’t eat right for someone else, or exercise for someone else, we can’t truly organize for someone else. We can only support them in organizing themselves.

People need practice in evaluating their own possessions to cull and curate them with intention.

They need practice in thinking through how to optimize storage so they’ll know where to find an item and can return it with ease.

And they need practice in the habits and mindsets that keep a person organized over the long haul even as interests and needs evolve to require a different set of possessions.

I’m all about division of labor when it comes to chores.

But if our aim is for everyone to be organized, one person can’t be the “organizer”of the household. The others won’t become organized themselves through osmosis.

Laurie Palau cautions us against being “the bottleneck.” If we are the only person in the house who knows a system, we will be the only person in the house responsible for maintaining that system. That’s exhausting for us, and infantilizing to the ones we live with.

I talk with plenty of people who feel that if only they could get their kids or spouse or roommates out of town for a weekend and bring me in, their house would be set for life.

And yes, sometimes a kid-free session is more productive.

But if we want children (and childlike adults) to take ownership of maintaining a system, they need to have some input in that system. And they need to be trained in the system. Remember, organizing is a set of learned skills, not an inborn trait.